Back to yack
Hello fellow bloggers (and lurkers), so sorry I have been incommunicado for so long, have been a bit crook, splitting migraine and a hangover to boot but mostly just sick. But now I'm back to yack and tell y'all what's been going on in my twisted mind.
So, been thinking lately, you know how hard it is to get up out of bed in the morning and slip into your exercise clothes when last night it was the last thing on your mind that you promised yourself you would do first thing in the morning? Well, I think it has been a week of promising myself that I'll excercise, and about 2 weeks more of telling myself I'll eat right. I've noticed my portion sizes slowly creeping up, my sweet tooth slowly taking over my common sense and to be quite honest, apart from the split second of guilt and telling my self that this wasn't part of the fat loss schedule, I could honestly say that at the moment I really couldn't care less. I know I'm undoing all the work that I've done lately and I know I'm only hurting myself but the drive just isn't there anymore.
So I came to a conclusion. I think that excercise and weightloss is a lot to do with removing yourself from your comfort zone and pushing yourself harder, which I guess is the reason why personal trainers are so effective. However, to do this one has to have come to the point of no return, where they are ready to give up the bullshit and the self coddling and just do what needs to be done and more. I'm not here yet, I'm still at "oh, wouldn't it be nice if I could fit into those skinny jeans and not feel so self conscious...oh look! A piece of chocolate mousse cake!" It's like subconsciously I have told myself that this is too hard, and I can't do it, and that's the story I'm sticking to. Not even the threat of death from all this lard I'm lugging around will make me do the right thing. It hasn't really clicked in my head that I need to do this, and I'm scared that it never will click and 20yrs down the line I'll tell myself that it was all a waste of time me even trying.
I feel myself losing sight of the finish line, I need some help staying motivated.
So, been thinking lately, you know how hard it is to get up out of bed in the morning and slip into your exercise clothes when last night it was the last thing on your mind that you promised yourself you would do first thing in the morning? Well, I think it has been a week of promising myself that I'll excercise, and about 2 weeks more of telling myself I'll eat right. I've noticed my portion sizes slowly creeping up, my sweet tooth slowly taking over my common sense and to be quite honest, apart from the split second of guilt and telling my self that this wasn't part of the fat loss schedule, I could honestly say that at the moment I really couldn't care less. I know I'm undoing all the work that I've done lately and I know I'm only hurting myself but the drive just isn't there anymore.
So I came to a conclusion. I think that excercise and weightloss is a lot to do with removing yourself from your comfort zone and pushing yourself harder, which I guess is the reason why personal trainers are so effective. However, to do this one has to have come to the point of no return, where they are ready to give up the bullshit and the self coddling and just do what needs to be done and more. I'm not here yet, I'm still at "oh, wouldn't it be nice if I could fit into those skinny jeans and not feel so self conscious...oh look! A piece of chocolate mousse cake!" It's like subconsciously I have told myself that this is too hard, and I can't do it, and that's the story I'm sticking to. Not even the threat of death from all this lard I'm lugging around will make me do the right thing. It hasn't really clicked in my head that I need to do this, and I'm scared that it never will click and 20yrs down the line I'll tell myself that it was all a waste of time me even trying.
I feel myself losing sight of the finish line, I need some help staying motivated.
posted by tash at 10:02 PM
1 Comments:
Tash,
Hang in there! Like alea said, we all have these moments. I even go weeks where I just feel like this. A lot of time and mental and emotional energy go into getting healthy and these feelings are just a part of the process.
You can do this and you can count on me to be there to cheer you on!
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