CAKE...UM I MEAN CRIME ATTACK
So,
we had someone come in to work to day and bring us cake, cos she's nice I guess. I went in for morning tea break and there they were.
Exhibit A. A light, moist almond and cream sponge cake, garnished with strawberries and a strawberry puree sauce.
Exhibit B. A beautiful. dark velvety chocolatey looking beast of a cake, garnished with grapes and mounds of dark chocolate cream.
"Prosecutor, please call your first witness to the stand."
"Tash, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but?"
"Um...ya, I think so."
"Tell me what happened when you went in for tea at approximately 11am this morning."
"Um...I walked in, and there were two other people in there. I sat down at the table and had tea"
"What happened, go on, tell everybody."
"I saw the cakes on the table, I had a piece of each. I had a conversation with my two workmates."
"What else Tash? This is a waste of taxpayers money and time!!! Did you or did you not massacre the exhibits? Were you or were you not in a "frenzy" as per you own description? Can you even tell me what the converstation between you and your workmates was about? Were there other people there or is that just another faction of your sick, twisted, cake murdering mind?"
"Yes!!! There absoulutely were other people in the tea room...I SWEAR. We talked about...about...sniff, sob...sniff...YES!!! I DID IT!!! I Murdered the cake!! IT WAS ME! I couldn't help it. I thought it was a chocolate cake, not that I have anything against chocolate cake your honor...I told myself it was ok because I don't love chocolate cake, it would just be a little piece. But when I bit into it your honor, it was a COFFEE cream cake!! So...unexpected, so moist and lush and intoxicating. I don't know what happened your honor, you've got to believe me, it wasn't meditated the first time around. I just couldn't think of anything but having another piece of cake. I don't know what my workmates were saying, I was just hoping they would leave the tearoom soon so I could...you know..."
"What Tash...What, so you could what?"
"...I just wanted another piece of cake, I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I don't know what happened. I just felt as though I had woken up from some strange dream. I just remember after I woke up I was really dazed, I couldn't remember what happened, I just know I was covered in cream and cake crumbs. I just wanted to get out of there, so I dusted myself off, and tried to get rid of as much evidence as possible. I'm...guilty your honor, but I plead temporary insanity!!!"
"Jury, you may retire to your quaters to debate your verdict. I rest this cake...ahem, case"
we had someone come in to work to day and bring us cake, cos she's nice I guess. I went in for morning tea break and there they were.
Exhibit A. A light, moist almond and cream sponge cake, garnished with strawberries and a strawberry puree sauce.
Exhibit B. A beautiful. dark velvety chocolatey looking beast of a cake, garnished with grapes and mounds of dark chocolate cream.
"Prosecutor, please call your first witness to the stand."
"Tash, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but?"
"Um...ya, I think so."
"Tell me what happened when you went in for tea at approximately 11am this morning."
"Um...I walked in, and there were two other people in there. I sat down at the table and had tea"
"What happened, go on, tell everybody."
"I saw the cakes on the table, I had a piece of each. I had a conversation with my two workmates."
"What else Tash? This is a waste of taxpayers money and time!!! Did you or did you not massacre the exhibits? Were you or were you not in a "frenzy" as per you own description? Can you even tell me what the converstation between you and your workmates was about? Were there other people there or is that just another faction of your sick, twisted, cake murdering mind?"
"Yes!!! There absoulutely were other people in the tea room...I SWEAR. We talked about...about...sniff, sob...sniff...YES!!! I DID IT!!! I Murdered the cake!! IT WAS ME! I couldn't help it. I thought it was a chocolate cake, not that I have anything against chocolate cake your honor...I told myself it was ok because I don't love chocolate cake, it would just be a little piece. But when I bit into it your honor, it was a COFFEE cream cake!! So...unexpected, so moist and lush and intoxicating. I don't know what happened your honor, you've got to believe me, it wasn't meditated the first time around. I just couldn't think of anything but having another piece of cake. I don't know what my workmates were saying, I was just hoping they would leave the tearoom soon so I could...you know..."
"What Tash...What, so you could what?"
"...I just wanted another piece of cake, I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I don't know what happened. I just felt as though I had woken up from some strange dream. I just remember after I woke up I was really dazed, I couldn't remember what happened, I just know I was covered in cream and cake crumbs. I just wanted to get out of there, so I dusted myself off, and tried to get rid of as much evidence as possible. I'm...guilty your honor, but I plead temporary insanity!!!"
"Jury, you may retire to your quaters to debate your verdict. I rest this cake...ahem, case"
posted by tash at 9:21 PM
2 Comments:
LOL - that was hilarious, but completely understandable. Chocolate cake... I would've caved too...
Ha! That was hilarious! I just absolutely loved that posting!
Oh cake, how I would love a piece of cake right now...
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