bobo takes over the computer

Hello all, soo very tired. Left home at 10 to 9 this morning and got home at 10 past 10 tonight...I have absolutely had it. So, to help out, my pet monkey Bobo said he would type for me while I passed on what I wanted to say through our very refined telepathic ability...so here goes.
Tash do good at food, Tash not too good at exercise but get there with practice. Is that banana for bobo? Bobo do good typing.
OK, that's enough of that, it played out funnier in my sleep deprived mind. I have the biggest opportunity of a lifetime winking at me next week. I hope I don't screw up. Will only tell after the deed is done as I am one of those people who believes I may be jinxing myself by uttering things I want out loud, So tune in next week and I shall reveal all.
Just wanted to touch base, not much to report on this end. Me and Bobo go look at other blogs now.

yummy lunch, and other nonsensical ramblings.

Hello all!
I had the yummiest lunch today. A greek salad (mixed lettuce, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, a bit of fetta cheese, onion, lemon vinnegrette dressing), a tin of tuna in olive oil drained well, can't stand tuna in water in salads, and a slice of wholemeal sourdough bread...YUMMO!! It was so good I wished i hadn't had lunch just so I could eat that all over again. Had planned on having grilled swordfish and a huge salad for dinner, was so looking forward to it infact but me and B for boy ended up having food at the food court in the shopping mall. I had a bit of food rage just thinking how yummy my planned dinner would have been instead of the disgusting honey chicken and rice that we shared between the two of us. I came to the conclusion that could save me a lot of heartache with my eating habits. Turns out I LOVE food, I love cooking a good meal, I like experimenting with new foods, I LOVE FOOD! I think a way for me to indulge myself now is to eat yummy, nutritious meals that make it feel like there's a party in your mouth...case in point; fruit salad with greek yogurt....YUM! peas and corn...YUM, greek salad mmmmmmtasty! ...wholemeal bread....give me some more!! So really, if there's so much good, healthy food out there that is tasty, there shouldn't really be a reason for me to eat crap now should there? Basically I am admitting that crazy chick who wrote "french women don't get fat" is right to some extent (if any of you have read it that is, otherwise just forget that earlier sentence). So from now on it's more of the fresh, yummy good for me stuff and less of the genetically modified cardboard substitutes I call my "indulgences". I think i'll just indulge in taking care of myself like I deserve.
I just read Purls blog about seeing yourself as you really are and it's something I wanted to comment on here. I never knew this before I packed my bags and upped and left home to move accross the world to a totally different contintent from where my parents, friends and family are but I know this now...I completely rely on other people for emotional support...completely. I remember when I went home to visit a couple of years back, and just being around people who love you unquestioningly, who overlook your faults, who laugh and cry with you, who just want to be around you because of the person that you are and your connection to them made me feel reborn. I realised how much I've given up by leaving my family and moving to Australia. I'd never felt so alone even when surrounded by dozens of people until I moved here. So being home made me realise that having people believe in you, people who see that better person you strive to be instead of just an ordinary human being means that I believed in myself. Like having someone there who didn't doubt for one second that you were doing your best meant that I did give my best at all things I tried. Ok, long story short, I miss my family. I have a lot of self doubt because I don't feel supported, encouraged. My soul is unhappy. Corny no? So be it, that's how I can describe it best.
To tie all that in with what Purl had to say about seeing yourself as you are...I think when I was home, surrounded by family, I saw myself through their eyes and because they believed in me, I believed in myself and as such all my goals didn't seem so hard, it was natural for me to achieve my best in all aspects of my life. Now I simply don't have that luxury and I am struggling to cope. I think I've just had what therapists call a breakthrough.

Trials and tribulations

Oh my goodness!! You will not believe what happened, I had the longest blog ever all typed out and ready to publish then my internet conked out on me, so one day later...CRAP!!!
So I'll try to remember what I'd written and hopefully this time I get to post.
Have had an uneventful but busy work week. I haven't had much time for blogging as you can tell by the age of my last update, but I have tried to keep up with what's going on for all of you even if I haven't left comments. I didn't finish my 7k walk programme even though I fully intended to do so. I went to the gym last week all psyched up and got on the most tempermental machine ever. Darn treadmill stopped after 20 min and 1.5 miles and wouldn't let me do any more!! So I quickly jumped onto another treadmill and tried to resume my earlier momentum but alas! After 15min I was hard done and just wanted to scream. I ended up doing 35min of walking and 30min on the eliptical, and burned a lot more calories than I would have just walking. I think for me this signifies a change of mindset. I think in the past if something like that had happened I'd have been happy with the 35min work out and wouldn't have pushed myself to do any more, called it a day and hit the showers. The whole of last week though I spent a lot of time fighting with myself over whether or not I would go to the gym, and when I got to the gym I'd be telling myself I didn't want to exercise and would end up doing almost 30 more minutes of activity than usual. I like this new me that doesn't let me give up, I hope to keep up this attitude. Nothing feels sexier than pushing yourself and achieving goals then pushing a little harder yet.
On the eating front, I haven't been terribly good or terribly bad, just average with a bit of splurge here and there. I'm starting to experiment with different amounts of breakfast because I find I get really famished after cardio and tend to snack more than necessary thr0ughout the day as a result. Any ideas to curb this would be great.
Ok, I'm off to update myself on what you guys have been doing while I've been away trying to get my internet back online.
Happy easter all.

3 miles...pfft!!

"Go get 'em tiger, 3 miles...pfft!!" That's the message I've got on my alarm, so that when it rings I have my goal for the day in mind and I remind myself that I can complete this goal. It gives me a sense of achievment. I know my body is capable and my mind is capable, and it gives me a lot of confidence for the day. I have one more workout to go, one more 5k walk then next week I go onto 5.4 and 6.8k. I am petrified, I'm trying to work out how long I have to be in the gym to finish almost 7k of walking. But I also look forward to challenging myself and coming out victorious. I think I'm losing weight as well but I'm too scared to check because if I haven't lost any weight then I'll be disappointed and probably even demotivated, then I'll have to watch all those rocky films again to get in the zone ;-)
So glad it's the weekend. So glad I only have to go to work for 4 days next week then easter long weekend WOOHOO!! However, I think my gym is closed for the whole long weekend...AND they have decided they're closed on easter tuesday...easter tuesday WHAT IS THAT? How can they just go deciding they'll be closed on a public holiday they've made up for themselves! The worst thing is I've already paid for those days they shut, I feel really gipped!. I don't think it's fair for them to take the money and not provide the service they are supposed to, I mean am I right or am I right? I'm going to write so many abusive anonymous suggestions and put them in the suggestion box...it worked when I wanted spare soy milk put in the breakfast bar because all the time I had brekky there the soy milk was always finished and I had to have dry toast instead cos all their spreads sucked.
Anyhoo, I hope y'all have a great weekend!

Fighting fit

Me and B for boy spent the whole weekend watching Rocky 1, 2 and haven't watched Rocky 3 yet, but we will. Ok, before you stop reading right at this second, I have to say, those movies are as good now as they were when I was just a little kid. Especially now when I'm looking for ways to stay motivated, the italian stallion, rocky marciano did it for me. I got up from the couch feeling a new sense of motivation. The one thing I admire about people who's job it is to be in peak physical condition, not only for their wellbieng but also because their bodies ar their source of income is that they are perfectly honed for their craft. Each athletes physique is a badge that they belong to a certain elite club. Think aussie rules lithe muscular bodies (and those yummy shorts), runners leg and thigh muscles, swimmers shoulders...how good would it be to be so good at something that it just shows, how good would it be to have your body so perfeclty attuned, so ready for a challenge? I don't know how much sense this makes to anyone else reading this, but its something I've been thinking about since the commonwealth games.
I went to the gym today, walked 5k in 50 minutes, I am pretty pleased with this seeing as I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to do this. I love that feeling of achievement when you complete a difficult workout. I felt so good, so accomplished, I really liked myself. Those new shoes are such a treat, I really love them
Ok, off to bed. Hope everyone is having a great day.

Hello all,
I'm finally updating my blog, I have had nothing to blog about all week so didn't want to bore y'all. I finally bought my shoes...YAY!! I got these kick ass nike shoes that I haven't as yet tried out cos I'm a lazy twit. This is after I had to sit through this sales chick tell me that I was a size 9 foot when i'm a size 8!! Ok I have beef with this cos you don't tell a big girl that the one place she believes is in proportion is actually bigger than she thought, I got enough to deal with already!! So then she brings out these ridiculously ugly shoes, they were so fugly it wasn't funny, they were like a trailer truck on my feet. They were really, really bulky and heavy. I must admit though they were comfortable because they were so stable that I guess they bore me really well but for the heart of me, I could not fathom shelling out $220 for a pair of the ugliest shoes I have ever seen in my whole entire life...and that's counting the puke yellow hiking-wanna be shoes one of my moms friends gave me. So I told her I'd think about it and went next door to footlocker and got the shoes I'd known I was going to buy all along, I just had to try them on and they were perfect, (and cheaper), so I got em.
Ok, on a more serious note. I watched a documentary on tv the other day called "medical miracles" or something like that. This particular episode was about a guy somewhere in the states who weighed 345kilos. Okay, i'll write that out again, he weighed 345 kilos. He had got to a point where he couldn't even move himself, he had to be rolled over in bed to prevent his bedsores from getting infected. He pretty much lived in his bed. For fear of death, his family got him to go to a rehab clinic for the morbidly obese (their term not mine). He couldn't stand it, partly because he thought their food sucked, he was way to used to feeding himself junk that healthy food just didn't figure in his rader. Also, this facility was way away from his wife and you know how it is when you are removed from your family and your support systems. He went into cardiac arrest because his body couldn't handle the massive strain it was under.

He died.

I was a bit shell shocked after this because in a way, even though I am trying to curb my bad habits before they get to a point where they can kill me, I have seen what awaits me if I should fail. However, even if I have seen this, I still get into phases (like now) where taking care of myself by watching what I eat and exercising, by surrounding myself with positive people, by not letting the stresses of life get to me just falls by the wayside. Other people have lost their battle to get a hold of their weight before it becomes to hard to handle, not just for aesthetic reasons but as a matter of life and death, I do not want to be one of those people. I keep marvelling at how great my body is because I haven't succumbed to diabetes or high blood pressure even if I am 30kilos or more overweight. I think I only have so long to go before my body gives up on taking care of me because I'm not taking care of my body. I think for the first time in my life I realise that I want to be healthy, not just nice to look at.